Sunday, February 25, 2007

No one can please everyone at the same time . . .
but someone at least tries .

Liberalization of Egypt

Egypt strike causes textiles halt
Thousands of workers in Egypt have gone on strike, causing chaos in some of the country's largest textile factories. The workers from three factories in the northern Delta region are demanding better pay and bonuses. Strikes are illegal in Egypt and in the past the police have been ordered to break them up using force. Officials are unlikely to seek major confrontations with workers as they want to press on with privatization plans, our Cairo correspondent reports.

This is a big step towards liberalization in Egypt and shows the government’s effort to accept and listen to the people’s voice of action.
I have also noticed that more and more governmental and private industries are raising the salaries of their employees, as well do the government now also look into the necessity of compensation to farmers that experience loss because of natural catastrophes . . .

Egypt to tackle bird flu with in-kind compensation to farmers
Egypt plans to repay in kind farmers whose birds are culled in areas affected by bird flu, following the failure of a previous financial compensation scheme, a health ministry official said. "The ministry is currently looking at this plan, whereby farmers would be given new, vaccinated, chicks when they lose their birds to a culling campaign," Nasr el-Sayed told AFP.

I think the government should be given some credit here. Not everything is only bad . . .

Friday, February 23, 2007

The power of an eye . . .
By Kirsten Nour NamskauI

I was in 4th primary . . . Magne was in 3rd primary . . . .Magne was a well-raised boy, always neat and clean, polite to everybody, did his homework and class-work at the very best.But . . . it was something with Magne which made him vulnerable. His one eye did not move. It was only staring straight forward.
This was enough to catch the mob’s attention.Every day, Magne was a victim of the mob. They hassled him both verbally and physically.
One day I told my father about Magne and how he got mobbed in the breaks at school.My father asked: “ But . . . where is the teacher who is supervising the playground ? Don’t they react on what is happening?”
I told him that it seemed they didn’t see it.
Then my father said: “ Kirsten, if you see Magne get mobbed, you have to inform the teacher who is on duty in the playground.”

I looked for Magne the next day, but didn’t see him. Magne didn’t show up at school for a long time.
Magne had got enough. . . . When he came home from school that day, his parents noticed he was more silent than usually, but didn’t make any fuss out of it. After Magne had gone to bed and his parents some hours later also wanted to go to bed, his father wanted to take a last peep into Magnes room, to see if he was OK.
He realized in a split of a second that something was very wrong with Magne.Magne was rushed to the hospital where they discovered that Magne had taken a huge quantum of sleeping-pills. His life was in serious danger and he had to stay in intensive care for several days.
Now, it became clear for everybody how serious Magnes case was.
Magnes father went to the school and had a meeting with the teachers, the headmaster and the school-doctor, to inform them about what Magne had been advised to do, if it happened again.

After some time, Magne came back to school and for some time it appeared as if the mobbing took off.
But slowly they started again . . .One day I saw the mob was real cruel to Magne. Suddenly three of them took Magne between themselves and carried him to a huge trash-container. They opened the lid and threw Magne inside and shouted: “ Here is where you belong. Feel at home.”

I run to the teacher who was on duty and called for her attention: “ Teacher, they are mobbing Magne. You have to help him. They have thrown him in the trash-container.”
I shouted out several times and pulled the teachers arm.
She looked at me and said: “ I have not seen anything. What I have not seen, I don’t know anything about.”

I looked at her with big eyes: “ Are you not going to help Magne? “I continued: “ If you turn around, you will see that they are standing around the trash-container and make mockery with Magne who is inside, and he can’t come out because someone is sitting on the lid.”
The teacher repeated: “ I don’t turn on your command, little miss sneak. As I said, what I have not seen, I don’t know, and if I don’t’ know . . . how can I help?”
I looked at her with big eyes and whispered: “ But I told you . . . “

The bell rang, and soon the play-ground was empty of children as they all attended class. But one did not come to class . . . Magne.
His class had come half way into the lesson when Magne knocked at the door. When he opened the door he stopped for a few second (which felt like minutes) and looked at the class. He looked filthy, with sandwich residues in his hair and on his clothes. . .
He went up to the teacher and whispered something to her.Those who had mobbed him started to feel uncomfortable. But the teacher didn’t say anything, so they relaxed a little again, but only for a few second . . .
The teacher went to the phone and made a call.The mob stiffened, but still the teacher didn’t say anything and Magne was still at the teacher’s desk.
A few minutes went ( which felt like hours) when someone knocked at the door and in came the headmaster and the school-doctor.The mob got pale, but still no one said anything.
The headmaster and the doctor took a sharp glance at the class before they went to the back of the class-room and took seat at two empty chairs.
Magne went to the front of the class and looked at each and one of his classmates . . .With silent, controlled voice he said: “I know that I get mobbed because my one eye does not move. . . . My eye became like this after an accident when I was two years old. An item pierced my eye and I lost it. . . I have only one eye.”
He continue: “The eye I can not move, is not real. It is made of glass and I have to take it out when I go to bed.”
Magne lifted his hand up to his face and in front of the class, he removed the eye.
There . . . in front of the class was Magne standing . . . with only one eye. Where the other eye had been, was now only an open hole.
Suddenly, Magne did a move with his hand as he shouted to his worse mobber: “ Hi Petter, catch it !!! “
Something went through the air and without thinking Petter, as an instant reaction only opened his hand to catch whatever came through the air.
Slowly . . . . Petter opened his hand to see what Magne had thrown.
There. . . in the palm of his hand was Magne’s eye . . . staring at him.
And for the rest of his life . . . whenever he opens his hand for whatever reason . . . It may be to receive changes in the shop, to shake hand with someone, to fill his hands with water to wash his face . . .
He will see Magne’s eye in the palm of his hand. . . staring at him.
3 Minutes management course . . .


The Three Minute Management Course... (borrowed from “lemon and lollipop”)

Lesson 1:A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure

Lesson 2:A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish.""Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."Puff! She's gone."Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Piña Coladas and the love of my life."Puff! He's gone."OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 3:An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 4:A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.""Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings," replied the bull? They're packed with nutrients."The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 5:A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:

1) Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy

2) Not everyone who gets you out of crap is your friend

3) And when you're in deep doo-doo, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

hospitals unsanitary and low safety catch . . .
Hiv-skandale i Italia

20.02.2007 kl. 21:38 Kilde: NTB
Tips en venn
Tre italienere fikk i forrige uke transplantert organer fra en hiv-positiv kvinne. Risikoen for at de vil bli hiv-smittet er svært høy.

VG Nett følger
- Dette var en tragisk menneskelig feil, innrømmet direktør Edoardo Majno ved Careggi-sykehuset i Firenze tirsdag. Ifølge legene døde donoren, en 41-årig kvinne, av hjerneslag. Familien besluttet å donere organene hennes, men de var trolig ikke klar over at hun var hiv-positiv. Tabben skyldes en menneskelig feil ved sykehusets laboratorium.De tre pasientene har fått transplantert kvinnens lever og nyrer.Italienske leger frykter nå at saken vil bli en belastning for pasienter som venter på transplantasjon.Historier om uhygieniske forhold og lav kvalitetssikring på landets sykehus har florert i mediene den siste tiden, og i januar ble alle offentlige sykehus inspisert av politiet. Undersøkelsen avdekket alvorlige regelbrudd ved hvert sjette sykehus.Blant de mest omtalte sakene er historien om en 16 år gammel jente som døde under en blindtarmoperasjon fordi strømmen gikk og oksygentilførselen ikke var koblet til en generator.

- From a Norwegian News-paper Feb 21. 2007

Free translation below

Three Italian was last week receiving organs for transplantation from a HIV- positive woman. The risk that they will become HIV-positive is extremely high.

VG News-paper reports:

This is a tragically human mistake, the director Edoardo Majno at Careggi-hospital in Firenze said Tuesday. According to the doctors the donor, 41 years old woman, died of stroke. Her family decided to donate her organs, but were likely not aware of that the woman was HIV-positive.
The flaw appeared by a human mistake at the hospitals laboratory.
The three patients have received the woman’s liver and kidneys.
The Italian doctors fear now that this case will become a strain to patients that are waiting for organ-transplantation.

The history of the hospitals unsanitary and low safety catch has been so rampant in the media lately, that in January all the hospitals were inspected by the police.
The investigation showed that every 6th hospital lacked by sever unsanitary and low safety catch.
Among the most sever cases was the case about a young girl of 16 years that died under an appendix operation because the electricity went off and the oxygen-resuscitator was not connected to a generator.

If you ask me . . . This is simply unacceptable. This is not a human mistake . . . This is negligence and disrespect towards your fellow human.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Fucked up "brain-transplant" . . .

Egypt . . . The country of contrasts . . .

When it comes to health-care and Egypt, it is a country of contrasts.
One the one hand we have one of the best surgeons in the world and people comes from all over the world to make certain operations. (Like eye operation, liver transplant etc.)
I had a friend from England who was working and living in Egypt for about 6 years.
Last year he suddenly, without warning collapsed. He went to England to make a health check after the command from his insurance company. In UK the doctors could not find out what was wrong and let him go for 1 year without further checks. As he got worse he finally got to a doctor here in Egypt who discovered that he had cancer in his liver. He went back to England and asked for a new check on the claim that they had found cancer in his liver. Yes, sure enough . . . then the doctors in England also discovered the cancer and prepared him for chemotherapy.
He came back to Egypt and told the doctor here what the doctors in UK had said.
Here they told him that chemotherapy was not the correct treatment. The best way was simply to remove the tumor by an operation.
It showed up that Egypt has one of the best surgeons in the world, when it comes to this kind of cancer and operations.
He went through with the operation and it was perfect. Completely free from cancer, he now should only recover from the operation.
It is then it fails . . . The aftercare is so lousy, so he almost died of lazy and lousy aftercare in the hospital. Lousy cleanliness, wrong medication and after-care gave him not less than 5 strokes, all unnecessary. He was called back to England for after-care by his insurance company and is now perfectly recovering.
I had another friend who came to Egypt to make some eye operation. The operation went perfect, but again . . . the aftercare gave her such inflammations in her eyes so she almost got blind, so she had to go back to Switzerland for after-care and recovering.
I have in an earlier post told about my experiences here in Egypt.
What surprise me is; How can the government and the surgeons accept that the aftercare are so lousy so the patient can die of it. What is then the effort of being one of the best surgeons in the world worth??
After reporting to the administration of the hospitals, the answer given is: “They do know how to do it correct. It is in their education, they only don’t bother to do it.”
This is beyond my intelligence, that a hospital accept that the nurses are doing such lousy job and spoil the hard and honest work of the surgeon.
Not only does it destroy the reputation of the medical care in Egypt . . . It also destroy the reputation of the country.

The government really do an effort to give the country the best possible chances to do things correct in a respectful and worldwide accepted way, but when the individual doctors or nurses don’t care and with laziness and lousiness deplore the governments effort, they also destroy the reputation of both themselves and the government itself.

In the same way, do I know that the government has put in a lot of money and effort when it comes to scanning of blood used for blood transfusion . . . But can we trust the doctors and nurses who suppose to be in charge of it???
No . . . .I’m sorry to say.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

The Vulnerable Heart . . .

By Kirsten Nour Namskau

What is mobbing and when do we feel mobbed ?
A person once told me: “It is so funny, so long as it doesn’t happen to you or one in your family.”

As a teacher, I often observed the children in the playground at the brakes.
Once I overheard some children acted and spoke as children with “Cerebral Palsy” do. Everybody in the group laughed and the one after the other made an “act”.
As I was watching them, I saw one of the boys (Niclas) slowly withdraw and left the group. He went to a corner of the yard and hid behind a tree.

It took me little by surprise, because he was usually the one mocking the others.
He was the one that often made fun of those who had taken a lower mark on a test. He was the one that often told spicy stories, easily gave an impolite answer and when one of the girls had broken her leg, he was the one jumping after her until she started to cry.
He was the one who used to play “Blind” and rave around in the class-room and “accidentally” touched the girls.
Now . . . He was the one who went away with pain-struck face.
When the bell rung, he looked released and the arrogant looking he usually had started to reappear.
When class started, I picked up the action that had taken place in the playground and asked the children, what made them to play that they had “Cerebral Palsy”.

They started to laugh and joke about it and again started to talk with strange voice.
Again , the boy started to withdraw.
I had a feeling of what was about to be revealed, when I asked him of his opinion about making fun of others this way.
I continued: “And by the way . . . No one at this school has Cerebral Palsy, so no one was literally hurt.”

Now, the whole class had turned to look at Niclas and silence was eminent as they saw that his face had turned red and he was stuttering, as if he didn’t know how to start.
He flung his hand over his forehead to wipe away drops of sweat that started to trickle.
Suddenly, he hid his face in his hands and started to cry.
I let him use his time to cry out.
I understood in this moment, that this lesson was the biggest lesson in his life.
The whole class sat as if needled to their chair with a question-mark in their face and looked from me to the boy.

When the cry started to take off and he dried his eyes with the cuff of his school-uniform shirt, he only looked at me with red eyes.

Another boy (Franse) asked silent: “Why do you cry? You don’t have Cerebral Palsy. It’s not you they made fun of.”
Niclas almost started to cry again but tried to withheld it as he said: “ You don’t know how it feels. It feels as if you make fun of me.”
He gave a deep sob as he frantically tried to control himself when he continued: “I have a brother that have Cerebral Palsy. He is older than me, but is almost like a baby. One month ago, we had to admit him into a home because it became too much for my mom. When you make joke of him, it feels as if you make joke of me.”

Franse looked at him for a long time with an intense glance before he said: “I know exactly how you feel Niclas. Look at me . . .” He ordered Niclas with soft voice.
When Niclas didn’t react, he repeated with stronger voice: “Niclas, look at me!”

Niclas peeped towards Franse as he continued: “Niclas . . . I am Franse, the one you use to call fatsy. Because I have a hormonal disorder that makes me fatter than you. What you feel now, is what I feel every day when someone calls me fatsy. The tears you have cried now, is like the tears I cry myself to sleep with every night.
Now . . . You know how it feels.”

Niclas looked down in his desk and said: “Sorry fatsy . . . I mean . . . Franse . . .” (he gave a sob, coming from deep in his throat) . . .” Sorry Franse, I shall never do it again.”

Friday, February 16, 2007

The penny . . .

Remember this every time you pass that little penny in the parking lot I always thought that it was for Good Luck, but I love this version better:

I found a penny today Just laying on the ground. But it's not just a penny, this little coin I've found.

Found pennies come from heaven, That's what my Grandpa told me. He said Angels toss them down. Oh, how I loved that story.

He said when an Angel misses you, They toss a penny down. Sometimes just to cheer you up, To make a smile out of your frown.

So, don't pass by that penny, When you're feeling blue. It may be a penny from heaven, that an Angel's tossed to you.

Have A Great Day!
"Don't let your worries get the best of you, remember, Moses started out as a basket case"

Thursday, February 15, 2007

From the womb of my mother . . .
From Deathdealer’s blog

Født til Donor!
27 January kl. 14:10

Donorsøsken tillatt! Endelig, vil alle vi som er eldst i søskeflokken kanskje si. Det var sannelig på tide. Skjønt, vi har jo alltid behandlet våre yngre brødre og søstere som en slags reserver - som skal trå til, når vi trenger det. Enten det gjelder å ta støyten for ugagn vi selv har bedrevet eller ile unnsettende til, når vi sitter som verst i klisteret. Hva annet har man småsøsken for? Med den nye loven om donorsøsken åpnes imidlertid nye muligheter. I kraft av deres nye status som mine potensielle organdonorer, må jeg i fullt alvor vurdere om mine småsøsken umiddelbart skal forbys å røyke og drikke, påbys å trene regelmessig, spise sunt og holde sine tanker moralsk plettfrie. Skjønt - det vil vel kanskje lovmakerne ta seg av. Det er jo ingen vits med donorsøsken, hvis de får løpe fritt og pådra seg både det ene og det andre - eller hva?

Free translation below.

Born to be a donor.

Donor-siblings are finally accepted !!
“Finally,” can all of us who are the older one among the siblings maybe say.
Although . . . we have always treated our younger siblings as a kind of “spare-thing” who shows up when we need them. Either it is the one to blame when we have done anything wrong or the one to come to our rescue if we have gone in “the pitfall.”
For what else do you have siblings?
With the new law, new options reveals.
In the virtue of the new law and the potential of future organ donor, I seriously have to look forward to that my siblings don’t start to smoke nor drink alcohol, I have to demand them to go to regular training, eat healthy and keep a high morale standard.
On the other hand . . . That’s maybe the authority’s job.
I mean . . . It doesn’t make sence with donor siblings, if they can run free and do whatever they want, incur the one illness after the other and so on . . . or what’s your opinion??

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

It is nice to be remembered . . .


Without LOVE - days are . . .

Saddays . . .

Moandays . . .

Tearsdays . . .

Wastedays . . .

Thirstdays . . .

Frightdays . . .

Shatterdays . . .

So . . . fall in love . . .

Happy Valentine
The gratest love-story of all time . . .


Mon Feb 12, 11:47 AM
By Phil Stewart

VALDARO, Italy, Feb 12 (Reuters Life!) -

Italy won't split up its Stone Age "lovers."

In a Valentine's Day gift to the country, scientists said they are determined to remove and preserve together the remains of a couple buried 5,000 to 6,000 years ago, their arms still wrapped around each other in an enduring embrace.
Instead of removing the bones one-by-one for reassembly later, archaeologists plan to scoop up the entire section of earth where the couple was buried, they told Reuters.
The plot will then be transported for study before being put on display in an Italian museum, thereby preserving the world's longest known hug for posterity.
"We want to keep can them just as they have been all this time -- together," archaeologist Elena Menotti, who announced the discovery a week ago, told Reuters.
Their removal will be a relief for archaeologists who had to hire extra security to guard the rural site outside the northern city of Mantova after the discovery made world headlines.
More importantly, it will give scientists a chance to figure out what was has become one of Italian archaeology's greatest mysteries: the first known Neolithic couple to be buried together, hugging.
Was it a sudden death? A ritual sacrifice? Or maybe they were prehistoric, star-crossed lovers who took their own lives.
That is a crowd-pleasing theory in these parts, since Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet was set in nearby Verona.
But scientists acknowledge they still know precious little about the now-famous Stone Age couple, whose embrace has become a subject of world newspaper headlines and chat shows.
Italians dubbed them the "Lovers of Valdaro" after the Mantova suburb of farmland and factories. But even their gender is a open question until scientists confirm the theory that they were a man and a woman.
Archaeologists seem certain the couple died young, since their teeth are intact and that they died during the Stone Age because of an arrowhead and tools found with the remains.
But new evidence indicates the couple were not alone and that the remains may have left been near a Stone Age settlement.
Archaeologists on site showed Reuters photographs of another skeleton found nearby, suggesting the couple were in some sort of prehistoric burial ground.
While the single body was buried East-West, possibly following the daily path of the sun across the sky, the Stone Age couple were buried "the wrong way."
"They were buried North-South, and we don't know why," said archaeologist Daniela Castagna, standing over the grave site.
John Robb, lecturer at Cambridge University and an expert in Neolithic Italian remains, says the trouble with the Stone Age couple is the singularity of the find -- which makes it difficult to explain using known historic data.
He said Neolithic burials are almost always single burials.
"There are a couple of mass burials. There are couple of examples of heads being found under houses. And then, about one burial in every 20 or 30 sites is completely unique," he said.
"And these are probably things that have strange ritual circumstances of one kind or another."
But until scientists get a closer look at the bones, all anyone has are loose theories.
The discovery generated Internet conspiracy theories with some taking a darker interpretation of the hugging skeletons.
One reader on AOL, said it was absurd to assume "this couple is in eternal bliss."
"Maybe it is eternal hatred that had them locked together in a death grip," wrote another reader.
Other people have called for the couple to be left alone -- something that Italian archaeologists say would leave the remains vulnerable to looters, vandals and even bad weather.
There is also a practical reason, the owner of the land hopes to soon build warehouses on it.
"We say rest in peace -- unless you're dead long enough to be interesting," wrote another reader, Jim Noonan.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Food for the soul . . .
As I jumped off the building . . .

~ I saw the known loving couple in 10th floor hitting each other

~ In 9th floor, I saw the usually tough and strong Peter crying

~ In 8th Mary just found her fiancée is sleeping with her best friend

~ In 7th floor, Daniella is taking her daily anti-depression medicine

~ Jobless Hans in 6th floor, still buys 7 newspaper to search for job every day

~ Much respected Mr. Wong in 5th floor, is trying his wife’s undergarment

~ Rose in 4 floor, is fighting again with her boyfriend

~ The old man in 3rd floor, is every day hoping that someone would come by and pay
him a visit

~ In 2nd floor, Lilly is still staring at the picture of her lost husband since half year ago

~ Before I jumped from the building, I thought I was the most unlucky person

~ Now I realized that everyone have their own problems and worries

~ After I have seen all these people’s problems and worries, I found out . . . In fact I wasn’t that bad off at all

~ I think . . . After they see me now, they might feel they are not that bad after all

“It’s Nice to BE Important but it’s more Important to Be NICE” ---

Monday, February 12, 2007

Happy (got through) Mothers Day . . .

Some words from a mother . . .
to another.

Your child you have known
Since it was in your womb.

Their growth you have watched,
Sometime with sorrow sometimes with heartfelt touch.

Through their laughter and tears
You have felt their joys and fears.

Sometimes they turn against you and with anger shout,
But a hidden message, is behind the pout;

“I love you mommy, you make me feel proud.”

Sunday, February 11, 2007

All men are alike . . .

To balance my very bad post yesterday . . . . here goes:

Men are like...floor tiles if you lay them right, you can walk all over them for years.

Men are like...chocolates bars ... sweet and smooth and they usually go right for your hips.

Men are, the best ones are rich,warm and can keep you up all night.

Men are like ... commercials ... you can't believe a word they say

Men are like ... need them for reproduction, but that's about it

Men are like ... cement after getting laid ... they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like ... government bonds, they take so long to mature.

Men are like ... mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotions.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

OOOhhh . . . Women . . . !!

Q. Why do only 10% of women go to heaven?

A. Because if they all went, it would be hell.

Q. Why did God invent the yeast infection?
A. So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying cunt.

Q. Why are hangovers better than women?
A. Hangovers will go away.

Q. Why did God give men penises?
A. So we'd always have at least one way to shut a woman up!

Q. Why is a woman like a dog turd?
A. The older it is, the easier it is to pick up.

Q. What's the difference between a woman and a toilet?
A. A toilet doesn't follow you around once you've used it.

Q. Why are women like screen doors?
A. Once they get banged a few times, they loosen up.

Q. How many men does it take to fix the vacuum cleaner?
A. Why the fuck should we fix it, we don't use the damn thing!

Q. What's the most active muscle in a woman?
A. The penis.

Q. How are women like parking spaces?
A. The best ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.

. Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A. They can't stand to see a man having a good time.

Q. What are the three reasons that make anal sex better than vaginal sex?
A. It's warmer, it's tighter, and it's more degrading to the woman.

Q. What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A. You can unscrew a light bulb.

Q. How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

Q. Why do women have periods?
A. Because they deserve them.

Q. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
A. Made her chain too long.

Q. What do you do when the dishwasher won't work?
A. Kick her.

Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After five years your job will still suck.

Friday, February 09, 2007

The mens pride . . .

Click on the pic.
It's only one thing working on men . . . I swear to God ! ! !

Thursday, February 08, 2007

A woman's working-day . . .

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his
wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he
prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours
while my wife merely stays at home.
I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to
switch with mine for a day. Amen.
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next
sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, Set
out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their
Drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
took it to the cleaners
And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and
balanced the check book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do
the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument
with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their
homework, Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he
did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for
salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded
laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was
exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went
to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to
get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and
said, Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to
envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh
please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you
have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things
back to the way they were.
You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant
last night."

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Which Pantheon is Best for you?
I don't know why or how I have come into all these tests, but it seems that everybody has a meme or a test, of one or another kind in their blog, and to be able to comment, I also have to make the test . . .
Sooo, here we go. . .

Everything happens for a reason, and for some reason you got this one. No doubt the Universe is progressing just as it should, and so are you, but I repeat myself.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

What’s the color of your aura?
Can we trust the tests? . . .

Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world.

And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it!

The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say

Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony

Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

How much can we trust the result of the test on the internet?
Above is the result of an aura-test from the web.
Below is a Kirlian photography of me which shows my real aura.
No, you can judge by yourself and interpreter the photo also if you know how to.
If any of you have a proper konwledge, I would be interested to know the result, since I actually never have got a professional interpretation of it.
You can eventually send the result to me in an e-mail. (Take it from my profile.)


WHITE is the color from which others emanate. It is sunlight. All colors are merely parts of this light broken up. It is the complimentary energy of black. White is peace, divine truth and presence. White is the color of all things and everything living has an aura of white light. It is the energy field. When white is dominate in the aura it shows you have surrounded yourself in white light and love and God is with you for protection. It shows your security and confidence in your faith. You are ready to be challenged and win. White gives strength when weak and courage when frightened. It sooths fears and calms anger. It is one of the very best auras to have because it shows balance. White spots in the aura and around you are said to be angels.

PURPLE is the color of higher spirituality and indicates seekers of all types, free thinkers. It is said to be the color of the spiritual eye of the mind. Purple on the right side shows sensitivity, wisdom and understanding, the ability to move freely and to go and get from other colors what is necessary. Very gifted and an achiever. Purple in the center is royalty or religious leaders. Raised consciousness and mental ability, able to travel mind and space. A healer of the soul and able to balance. Purple on the left shows curiosity, untouchable, needs to learn humility, can be overbearing, a know it all. Light purple can show a lack of confidence and needs centering, purple and red impartiality, purple and yellow cool, impartial person who heals but is unaware of it, purple and orange overcharged personality, purple and blue a healer with the voice, purple and green calm people with flowing natural abilities.

BLUE is a color of the spirit, the symbol of prayer, peace and quiet. It is considered calm and cool, the color of the higher mind. Blue is knowledge, rules over speech, silent words, a color for creativity and music. Blue on the right side shows youthfulness, one who tries and even with heartaches will always achieve. Detachment, very versatile, self-aware, lives life to the fullest, seeking the truth in everything, shy, quiet and believing. Blue in the center shows spirituality, a tranquillity of bearing, an inner peace, becoming one with each experience, introspective awareness. A desire to influence others, creative in life with knowledge and experience. Blue on the left shows a cold shoulder. They can detach themselves from situations and things, can be lazy, apathetic, or indulgent of its own whims, critical, and materialistic, faith may turn to superstition, the imagination can run wild. Light blue may have little depth. Blue with red calculated approach to life, blue and orange may not like food, blue and green very cool, aloof, unattached, blue and yellow cool clear head and good teachers and lecturers, blue and indigo healing through the voice.

ORANGE is the color of vitality, good health, and vigour. It is the color of sociability, one who loves people and helping out. Orange loves family and friends and solving problems. They must have change in their lives. Orange is a secondary color combining red and yellow, so it has an effect on both physical well-being and intellect. Orange on the right means thoughtfulness and consideration of others, tolerance to action and greater understanding to the use of energy. It shows you're in balance, loving life and without fear, a peacemaker. Orange in the center shows tactfulness in expression, and the ability of expression, a hunger for peace, grace, glory, virtue and the healing force, self-confidence, vivid imagination. In this position orange has the power to bridge together information, people or incidents into a cooperative unity. Orange on the left effects your physical energy and wants to be on the go, doing something different. Safety here is most important. Sometimes over-indulgent, over considerate and sometimes hyper. Balances the keyword here. Burnt orange or brownish orange shows lack of ambition and an I don't care attitude, sometimes lazy. Yellow orange an athletic mind, loves mental puzzles and fun. Orange with blue the ability to communicate, soldiers, umpires. Orange with green needs constant change and to control the emotions, does not want to be rejected.

YELLOW is the color of awakening....the color of the sun. The birth of creativity and inspiration. It indicates health and well-being, a happy, friendly and helpful attitude. Yellow is the color of teachers and if golden yellow a spiritual teacher. There footsteps are deep and there message one of peace and good will. Yellow on the right takes good care of themselves and never worries. You learn easily and have a vivid imagination, sensitive to the need of others, good self-control, absorbed in the world of ideas, a keen mind wit sharp mental discernment the borders on the prophetic in the sensing of impressions. Yellow in the center shows spirituality and the need for knowledge. Freedom. Lots of friends and fun in life. A philosopher with words of wisdom, much self-expression and always looking towards the future. Able to develop many talents to a level of proficiency. Yellow on the left shows much intellect but not much purpose, a dependency on others, analytical, no logic, self-centered, change for change sake, too much mental ignoring the physical body, lack of concentration, scattering energies. Light yellow shows willingness to learn and the use of intellect for creative purposes. Dark yellow or gold very spiritual. Yellow and red sex is governed by the mind, self-fulfilling. Yellow and orange controlled emotions, extrasensory sensitivity. Yellow and green fear rejection.

GOLD is the higher octave of orange and shows spiritual paths. Its the completing cycle and perfection, represents the completion of man's process of transformation from the base mental instinct to that of realization of the divine spark. Gold on the right means joy, cheer, hope, happiness and balances the energies of the physical forces, serves to communicate universal love and truth to others. Gold in the center shows the sage, the wise one, has experienced all and must teach it to others, warmth, vitality, and food for the soul, sympathy and understanding for fellow man, a teacher. Gold on the left shows popular well-liked and wins the admiration of all who enter its presence, lives life with grace and comfort, strives to live up to a standard.

GREEN is said to be God's favourite color, the color of life, health, growth and balance, completeness of an endeavour and knowledge well learned, helpful, strong and non-dominating. Green on the right is helpful, trustworthy, balance between the material and the spiritual. Freshness and understanding. Ideas are brought down to earth and given shape and form and then arranged in a harmonious relationship with others, good business sense. Green on the left shows need to have broader vision, a lack of imagination, highly determined, dogmatic, envious, and sometimes cruel, always finishing what others tasks. Green in the center a natural healer highly determined and efficient, conscientious in all endeavours, attentive to all details, youthful attitude, sensitive and adaptable. Green and blue is helpful and trustworthy, very warm. Green and red is leads with the heart, needs lots of love. Green with orange lives in the past, will eat to cover feelings. Green and yellow one-sided approach to life. Green and indigo a push over, too tender, always the helper.

RED is the life force and the color of the kindling. It shows leadership ability and the will to do it yourself. Reds love adventure and excitement. They must always be first and they never say can't. They are athletic and are very positive. Red on the right is a person who loves people and are always looking for something to do, a teacher, philosopher, one who can lead the way, shows you love life, living it and will go after your dreams. Red on the left shows a pioneer always starting projects and leading others to their goals. Ahead of your time your enthusiasm and energy scares others away but your faith, just like a little child will always lead you to the top. Red makes a loyal and faithful friend. Red in the center is spirituality, the need to know, sacrifice, generosity, and courage to be yourself at any cost, a believer in truth.
Colors on the right mean creativity, colors on the left means practicality and the colors in the center intellect. Colors evenly distributed on both sides means balance of the attributes assigned.

Monday, February 05, 2007

God Bless You . . .
The man whispered, "God, speak to me"
and a meadowlark sang.

But, the man did not hear. So the man yelled,
"God, speak to me"
and the thunder rolled across the sky.

The man did not listen.
He looked around and said,
"God let me see you."
And a star shined brightly.

But the man did not see.
And he shouted,
"God show me a miracle."
Then a life was born.
But, the man did not notice.
So, the man cried out in despair,
"Touch me God, and let me know you are here."
Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man.
But, the man brushed the butterfly away

and walked on.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

God lives under the bed . . .

We all know or know about someone who is "different" than the norm. We meet them around, at school, in the bus, in the mall . . . .
Have you ever wondered how they feel about life? What are they thinking about, what occupy their mind?
Someone told me this story about his brother . . . .

I envy Kevin. My brother Kevin thinks God lives under his bed. At least that's what I heard him say one night.
He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped to listen, "Are you there, God?" he said. "Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the bed..."
I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room. Kevin's unique perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something else lingered long after the humour. I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in.
He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties during labour. Apart from his size (he's 6-foot-2), there are few ways in which he is an adult.
He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old, and he always will. He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed, that Santa Claus is the one who fills the space under our tree every Christmas and that airplanes stay up in the sky because angels carry them.
I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different.
Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life?
Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled, home to walk our cocker spaniel, return to eat his favourite macaroni-and-cheese for dinner, and later to bed.
The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry, when he hovers
excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn child.
He does not seem dissatisfied.
He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05, eager for a day of simple work.
He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove before dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his next day's laundry chores.
And Saturdays-oh, the bliss of Saturdays! That's the day my Dad takes Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the planes land, and speculate loudly on the destination of each passenger inside.
"That one's goin’ to Chi-car-go!" Kevin shouts as he claps his hands.
His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights
And so goes his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips.
He doesn't know what it means to be discontent.

His life is simple.
He will never know the entanglements of wealth of power, and he does not care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats. His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they may not be.
His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as when he is working. When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is completely in it.
He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and he does not leave a job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax.
He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others. His heart is pure.
He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue.
Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. He is always transparent, always sincere. And he trusts God.
Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God - to really be friends with Him in a way that is difficult for an "educated" person to grasp. God seems like his closest companion.
In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity I envy the security Kevin has in his simple faith.
It is then that I am most willing to admit that he has some divine
knowledge that rises above my mortal questions.
It is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one with the handicap . . I am. My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances - they all become disabilities when I do not trust them to God's care.
Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn? After all, he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence, praying after dark and soaking up the goodness and love of God.
And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we are all amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I'll realize that God heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God lived under his bed.
Kevin won't be surprised at all!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Do you dear to take the test?

And tell the result in the commentbox . . .

You Are 16% Paranoid Schizophrenic

You're so far from paranoid schizophrenic...

you probably found this quiz to be quite amusing.

It is not what you say. . .
But the way you say it.

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever..
and he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry,
and once again he replied with a no.

She had heard enough.
As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said...

You're not pretty you're beautiful.
I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.
And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...

Friday, February 02, 2007

What kind of blogger are you? .

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.

Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Trickster . . . .

Medical fraud . . .

The police recently busted a man selling "secret formula" tablets he claimed gave eternal youth.

When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for committing this same criminal medical fraud.

He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983....

For the kids . . .

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Lisa!Lisa who?
Lisa you can do is let me in!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Lisbon who?
Lisbon married eight times!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Liszt who?
Liszt of ingredients!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Little old lady!
Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!