Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Learning Life . . .



My Mom taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other,
do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

My Mom taught me about INDIVIDUALISM.
"I bet if all your friends jumped off a bridge, you would too!

My Mom taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet."

My Mom taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

My Mom taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My Mom taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

My Mom taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My Mom taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"


My Mom taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about!"

My Mom taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My Mom taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My Mom taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My Mom taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

My Mom taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

My Mom taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS.
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you;
would you listen then?"


My Mom taught me about WEATHER.

"It looks like a tornado swept through your room!"

K.N.

11 comments:

BBC said...

A hillbilly's, or redneck's mother says...

I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.

LOL

BBC said...

My dad was fond of saying.

"Boy, I'll knock your asshole up around your shoulder blades so's that you have to part your hair to take a shit."

What was your parents like anyway?

Kirsten N. Namskau said...

Ha ha ha ... You gave me a good laughter here.

I had a good home as a child. We were never beaten, my parents never quarreled or shouted to each-other. They did the best they could although it was tight many times.

By the way ... Yes, now I remember...it is rasberry it names those berries.

Lexcen said...

:-)

Hammer said...

I always liked, "Shut up and answer me!"

Vinicio said...

hey, regarding your book. I looked at the barnes and noble and it has no synopsis or summary, or review. I would like to be the first one to review it but if it falls to my expectation my review might discredit your good work.

can you possibly tell me a briefing. After reading what i wrote on my post, how can you urge me to read your book? I'm thinking... it MUST be that good.

laters sweet one.

By the way what BBC wrote isn;t funny as you may know. Some of us were abused as children.

The Phosgene Kid said...

Staring into the sun - mom was sure right about that one.

BBC said...

Vinicio .... I was ignored and abused as a child, I got over it, and you should also. Life is tomorrow, not yesterday. Hugs.

Kirsten, I was beat a lot as a child, but I didn't beat my children.

Kirsten N. Namskau said...

"Here something has to be done" said the boy, he was locked up in the toilet-room.

Thank you all for nice comments

BBC said...

Sometimes you say things I just don't understand. He was locked up in the toilet-room?????

Kirsten N. Namskau said...

BBC: It's because my english is not good enough